Pleasure and Pain

So today was a very good day, i ate well and worked out hard. Jesus knows that I wasn't prepared for the workout I gave myself today, my thighs are screaming for mercy. I am proud of myself though, hurt back thighs and all. I think if I keep on this track that I will be at my goal quicker than I imagine. So far I have lost 5lbs since June 1 and I think that is great even though you always want more, but i have to think was I trying as hard as i could have? the answer is not at all, I was very bad but still good enough not to gain. I am so excited and motivated to do this I am motivated by love.... the love of the child I want to have and being over weight its so much harder to concive and bring a healthy child into this world. oh yeah and find a decent man to have a child with (marry first then child). Anyway I am beat. Thanks again to the people who have showed me more support than I can ever ask for in friends (Paul and Coleen) it means more than anything that you are on this journey with me I feel so good that I know that at the end of the day that your in just as much pain as I am muwwaahhh!!!! lol love you guys. Oh yeah and mommy who cooks me really healthy food cause she loves me (and think I can't cook tee hee its like in home catering, looovvee mommy)

Oh my Zumba

God Lord that was the best work out I have ever had. I cannot wait until my next class. It is sad though that I lost my rhythm in my old age, but I am gonna get my sexxy back. I never experienced a work out like that and my hips and back agree it, was fun face paced yet at no point did I want to stop. I cannot wait for this weight to fall off again and my confidence boost up again. The distractions at the gym are crazy, men are stupid hot over there who knew long island was hiding them. mmm. Anyway see the distraction. Anyway I have to have go to sleep so I can actually get up in the morning and eat a decent breakfast, see my new friend Melinda and get my Yoga on yay! Very full day tomorrow, and guess what I love it. Thanks for all your sexxy support and keeping me on track.

Okay full speed ahead!!

Okay so I've been very lack with my diet and I know this, i am starting to feel the old pains and tiredness i use to feel. I am going full speed ahead this week. I have a goal and I want to meet that goal, I will meet that goal. I don't care what people may say you have to do this for yourself, whether it is to fit into slutty clothing, get a guy, or look better than someone you hate you just have to do it. Negative think yep and I don't care. I want to look better than a certain person and I do want that guy, the clothes wellll I'm to old for slutty. I have the face now all I need is the body. As far as dating I am communicating with a nucmed tech and think I might stop, idk he just isn't my cup of tea. I am soo looking for that freaky geek, you know the one who is nerdy yet likes the boom boom pow? where will I find him, sigh. He's also older than me, not that he is acient because the guy I want is almost 10 years older than me but he is that geeky freak I like. I don't know maybe I will give it a chance maybe not. Theres another guy who comm with me he is a hot guitar playing daddy, but i don't want to make the first move because I am a punk and hate rejection, but he showed intrest first just waiting for him to take the next step. He also has that geek thing going on that I like. So I was swimming yesterday and I am so proud of myself, it wasn't far but still swimming. N E way, tomorrow is Zumba and a great new start to my diet. I need to go to bed now because I keep reading that sleeping is crucial to weight loss, and I don't sleep. Okay Jetsons on boom then sleep. Good night and thanks for your support!

Bad day

So today (friday) was a very bad day, I felt like a little piggy all day. I think I ate enough for 2 people, I know I did. I was sooo hungry for some reason and sooo tired. I cleaned my room today and think that was the most exercise I got today. But I don't fret I have Zumba on Monday and tomorrow is always another day. I have one more week of vacaton left to enjoy. I have to kick up my wieght loss routine, its amazing how much smaller I look but don't feel. Maybe in another 50 I will feel better. Okay now I am getting tired its 3 am, and yes Rob I am lonely you asshole. Anywho to whoever is reading this continue to support the cause, sexxy dee 2009.

Gym Victory

So I went to the gym last night and had my own personal victory, 30 mins on the tready with out feeling like I was going to die. I am so very proud of myself. I want to step it up a bit with like 2 different machines next time maybe 15 on the elip and 15 on the bike and then 30 on the tready. I really need to work my arms, but that is all pool work for me. I am feeling good about how I am starting to look I have to admit I did not think I lost any weight because to me its still not visable, but I saw a pic of me from over the weekend and I see a big difference. I really need to do some ab and hip work tired of the right angle thighness,lol. Anyways I am feeling better than I have in a long time I met an awsome new friend, she is def bestie material and I have an admirer even though he's married at least he admired and that feels good. So still on vacation and this is day 3 and I feel like they days are just shooting by I need to relax and slow down and enjoy this because it only happens once a year lol.

Grrrrrr.....

So its the second day of vacation and I am super bored and super tired. Might be suffering from heat exhaustion, i don't know. I was hoping to go on a date while on vacation but it seems that eharmony is on ugo mode and the only people who show interest are either cockeyed and or missing teeth. I am feeling a bit lonely lately its hard to not be, the weather is nice and margaritas are calling in the breeze and all you have is your girlfriends and your penguin that your ex gave you to comfort you on friday nights. sigh.. I am in desparate need of finding my own place now, that is number one on my list first and foremost. I hate living here now its is the same thing over and over again. I have half a mind to just get up and quit my job and move to PA with my brother. So much to say will blog more after gym if i go, the elements have been against me the last couple of days.

In the begining

This is the first of many blogs on my journey to be the thinner sexier version of myself. On the way I will also blog about my dating adventures, and read how I pick up the pieces of my life and put it back together.